Written by Mark Gray aka the Dolly Auditor
A key focus of Saturday’s Working Bee was on the humble Dolly – more the Patton kind, not the Parton kind. The newly appointed ‘Vice President, Risk Assurance - Onshore Dinghy Transport’, the “Dolly Auditor” (Mark Gray), ordered a full stocktake, risk assessment and remediation of all forms of onshore dinghy transport in the Clubhouse.
All Club Dollies were counted, repaired and restored on a make-shift production line in Steyne Park throughout the morning. And when rolled off the line, each Club Dolly was serially numbered and recorded in the Club’s books like a delivery of refurbished laptop computers to a newly created Government department.
All privately owned dollies were mustered at the Western end of Steyne Park to be measured, weighed and photographed with tyre prints and DNA extracted from the wheels to ensure enduring traceability to their rightful owners. Private dollies of all shapes and sizes were closely assessed by qualified risk assurance professionals (and their children) and any identifying marks recorded in the DBSC Private Dolly Register which you can see HERE. Where possible, due to identifying marks or pure uniqueness, a Dolly’s registered owner’s details have been noted in the Register already.
And like the Torrens system of land title in Australia, once completed the DBSC Private Dolly Register will be conclusive evidence of private Dolly titles (not Ms Parton’s 9 to 5) and admissible as indefeasible evidence in any Dolly disputes.
In an upcoming newsletter, we will publish our official Dolly Policy, in the meantime, please confirm/claim your private Dolly by emailing the relevant Registered Dolly Number from the Register to the Dolly Auditor HERE. Any unclaimed Dollies will be deemed to have been donated to the Club after this time.
The Dolly shown below is unable to be stored at the club because it is of an incompatible configuration and is too heavy, and therefore represents a safety risk. Could the owner of that Dolly please identify themselves to the Dolly Auditor and arrange for its removal ASAP. If it is not removed, it will be scrapped.