Auckland, New Zealand - December 20, 2016: Leading DBSC Yoof sailor, Grasshopper 2.0 (passport lists his name as Finn Alexander) wins ISAF World Yoof Championship in the Laser Radial Class.
Speaking to the assembled world media, at the post-race media conference, G2.0 said:
"Dear Leader always told me it was about preparation, and you need to think about everything: meteorology, geography, the competition, off-water accomodation and food, and even the cultural norms. To that end I crammed everything in the weeks since the end of highschool. I even managed to prepare on the cultural aspects by watching the well known documentary on the typical Auckland lifestyle, "Once Were Warriors".
In a congratulatory telex, Dear Leader said:
"Sincere congratulations on winning the World Junior Laser crown! Double Bay Sailing Club and the whole of Australia are proud of you. I understand congratulations are also in order for your Higher School Certificate results. We live in a winner-take-all society, so it is incredible you have delivered two two fantastic performances!"
The Commodore also jumped on the bandwagon, adding:
"We now have the world's fastest youth and the world's fastest really old bloke (Aka great grand master). And we had the best Christmas party last weekend.
It's beyond doubt that DBSC is the greatest laser club in the world."
G2.0 now is retiring from the Yoof/Radial demographic/class, and his next regatta will be in the Laser Standard at the Australian Championships. After that will be ultimate challenge: snatching the pebbles from Dear Leader in the DBSC Standard Club Championship.