Despite being a product of Anglo-Celtic, middle class, Protestant Australia of the 1950s, DBSC has been at the forefront of social developments in Australia and helped drag Australia to peak of global civilisation.
It didn't start well as we did have an initial period of "class cleansing", but subsequently have mostly "done good".
DBSC's achievements in social inclusiveness includes:
- 1958 - accepted members from the North Shore;
- 1962 - removed the requirement for potential members to state their BMI on the application form;
- 1968 - adopted the "no d**khead" policy which was subsequently adopted by the South Melbourn Football Club;
- 1972 - catering for vegetarians at club functions commenced;
- 1979 - finishing our championship BBQs early so members could get home in time to watch the SBS Movie of the Week;
- 1984 - encouraged the then Prime Minister to start Radio National
- 1988 - first known use of the abbreviation of "LGBT" in the world when we revised our diversity policy;
- 1990 - stocked Victoria Bitter;
- 2000 - Hipsters started joining the club;
- 2005 - gave those who identified as 4.7 or Radials sailors their own class;
- 2007 - provided support to what we thought were homeless folk loitering around Steyne Park, until we realised they were 18s sailors spending 6-8 hours on a Sunday rigging their skiffs;
- 2009 - encouraged the less mobile to keep sailing by initiating the Big Boat Brethren;
- 2010 - removing the minimum 2 inches in-seam restriction on shorts so the 18s supporters could enter the clubhouse;
- 2012 - allowed investment bankers to join;
- 2015 - implemented a policy allowing for European style sun-bathing on the deck.
Speaking of the club's achievement as a Rotary function recently, Troublemaker confided:
"Belonging to two minority groups, I thought that I would spend my free time in social isolation. But I heard that there were other vegetarians at DBSC so I thought I would join, and it is the best thing I ever did. While I didn't mention being an investment banker for a while, when people found out they made me even more welcomed despite being the only one. The People's Prince even said I could bring my associates and interns to the Championship BBQs: that meant a lot to me even though they couldn't come any Saturday as they were busy putting together the pitch-books."
With all these achievements, we did make one mistake which was highlighted by a recent letter from one of members:
"....while male and 120kg, for many years I have identified as a Radial sailor. However, identity is fluid (just ask Rachel Dolezal) and I don't see why I shouldn't occasionally be able to sail a 4.7 and compete against Radials and Standard rigs. Sure, mostly I will not be winning, but in +30 knots I don't think Dear Leader or Grasshopper 2.0 or Blackie will be able to beat me. Others feel the same. [Redacted] wants to sail a standard rigwhen there is less than 6.82 knots, and given she has graduated with honours from Learn to Race, she would probably be unbeatable. Can we do something about this inequality?"
There is the issue of the laws of physics, but "Bradfield" Simpson assured us that a 4.7 rig could be sailed by someone of up to 130kg in 40 knots. Some non-destructive testing will be required after each extreme sail, but it might be worthwhile if you will be adding silverware to the pool room.
With sufficient interest in #LaserEquality, the Politburo will look at reversing almost a decade of Laser inequality. It will be carefully monitoring FaceSpace, CompuServe and the other popular social media forums on the Interweb, but it is fair to say that #LaserEquality is already trending......with Malcolm, and Lucy, heavy referees.
Who knows, we may get back to one start per round?
The club is open every Saturday afternoon between August and April (inclusively), so rather that write to us, new members should just come and visit, and meet the most diverse and fun group of sailors in the world and join the biggest Laser fleet.